A Prayer (Just For Laughs)

This was sent to me by a friend, just sharing it through my blog .... to see you smile :)

TO: God.Com
Dear Lord,

Every single evening
When I lie here in bed,
This tiny little Prayer
Keeps running through my head:

God, bless all my family
For they're so close to me
Keep them safe and warm
And from all evil and no harm.

And, there is one more thing
Hope you don't mind me asking,
That I  know you will graciously do:
God! Please bless, my gadget, too...

I know that it sounds pretty odd,
So let me explain it Lord,
For inside this tiny compartments,
Rests so.. many long lost friends.

Please take an extra minute
From your duties beyond limit,
To bless those in my friends list
And those to whom request sent.

Bless all those in my message inbox,
And the clever ones who helped me unlock
The games I could never clear...
Especially the ones, who hit- 'like' n 'share'.

Bless the ones who never missed 
My Birthday which was lovingly wished
And all those who sent me a smiley
Or a joke, a link, a thought, almost daily.

Please do save this little prayer
In your grand heavenly computer
For it to be stored in the CD ROM 
As an earnest message to God.com
Amen

To All My Facebook Friends (Just For Laughs)

 I am sure you will find this hilarious... 

A 66-year-old woman walked down the hallway of an Addictions Clinic, searching for the right department. She passed the "Heroin Addiction Department (HAD)," the "Smoking Addiction Department (SAD)" and the "Bingo Addiction Department (BAD)." Then she spotted the department she was looking for: "Facebook Addiction Department (FAD)."

It was the busiest department in the clinic, with more than three dozen people filling the waiting room, most of them staring blankly into their Blackberries and iPhones. A middle-aged man with unkempt hair was pacing the room, muttering, "I need to milk my cows. I need to milk my cows."

A twenty-something man was prone on the floor, his face buried in his hands, while a curly-haired woman comforted him.

"Don't worry. It'll be all right."

"I just don't understand it. I thought my update was LOL-worthy, but none of my friends even clicked the 'like'button."

"How long has it been?"

"Almost five minutes. That's like five months in the real world."

The 66-year-old woman waited until her name was called, then followed the receptionist into the office of Alfred Zulu, Facebook Addiction Counselor.

"Please have a seat, Lydna," he said with a warm smile. "And tell me how it all started."

"Well, it's all my grandson's fault. He sent me an invitation to join Facebook. I had never heard of Facebook before, but I thought it was something for me, because I usually have my face in a book."

"How soon were you hooked?"

"Faster than you can say 'create a profile.' I found myself on Facebook at least eight times each day -- and more times at night. Sometimes I'd wake up in the middle of the night to check it, just in case there was an update from one of my new friends in India . My husband didn't like that. He said that friendship is a precious thing and should never be outsourced."

"What do you like most about Facebook?"

"It makes me feel like I have a life. In the real world, I have only five or six friends, but on Facebook, I have 674.I'm even friends with Juan Carlos Montoya."

"Who's he?"

"I don't know, but he's got 4,000 friends, so he must be famous."

"Facebook has helped you make some connections, I see."

"Oh yes. I've even connected with some of the gals from high school -- I still call them 'gals.' I hadn't heard from some of them in ages, so it was exciting to look at their profiles and figure out who's retired, who's still working, and who's had some work done. I love browsing their photos and reading their updates. I know where they've been on vacation, which movies they've watched, and whether they hang their toilet paper over or under. I've also been playing a game with some of them."

"Let me guess. Farmville?"

"No, Mafia Wars. I'm a Hitman. No one messes with Lydna."

"Wouldn't you rather meet some of your friends in person?"

"No, not really. It's so much easier on Facebook. We don't need to gussy ourselves up. We don't need to take baths or wear perfume or use mouthwash. That's the best thing about Facebook -- you can't smell anyone. Everyone is attractive, because everyone has picked a good profile pic. One of the gals is using a profile pic that was taken, I'm pretty certain, during the Graduation. "

"What pic are you using?"

"Well, I spent five hours searching for a profile pic, but couldn't find one I really liked. So I decided to visit the local beauty salon."

"To make yourself look prettier?"

"No, to take a pic of one of the young ladies there. That's what I'm using."

"Didn't your friends notice that you look different?"

"Some of them did, but I just told them I've been doing lots of yoga."

"When did you realize that your Facebooking might be a problem?"

"I realized it last Sunday night, when I was on Facebook and saw a message on my wall from my husband: 'I moved out of the house five days ago. Just thought you should know.'"

"What did you do?"

"What else? I unfriended him of course!"

PS:sharing a forwarded mail

The New English

English language is the most notorious for adapting to the fast changes in the world. New words are added and get embedded in the regular lingo of the young gen now a days.
With a list of new words coined recently, we may be speaking this way in a few years to come –

“Me being funemployed decided to go for a daycation with a friend who is a freemale to my sis’s place as she was in a sandwich generation. On entering her house we paid respects to her FIL who was scanning few snailmails and her MIL who was engrossed with an outernet. Her teen daughter an infomania was wearing a hoodie in April, calling herself a fashionista, was applying a nail tat with her eyes glued to her netbook. My sis a sofalizer was busy with her laptop and her little one had already become a cot potato.
We had some chicken biryani for lunch as we were flexitarians and spent most of the time catching up with the buzz under the jumbrella in her lawn sipping on an alcopop. We left her place late evening but could not meet my BIL as he had become a member of the overworking class as his company was decruiting since the year beginning.
My sis assured us that she’d make it for the staycation we were planning with few more friends at an agritourist place and said she’d send her kids for a greycation during the winterval. We reached home safe without being carjacked or encountering a flashmob en route.”



Dear netizen, if you have difficulty in deciphering the content of the passage refer the key below:-

Agritourism   A form of tourism in which tourists stay on farms or in agricultural  villages, and often participate in farm activities.  

Alcopop Fruit drinks fortified with alcohol, designed and marketed to appeal  to young people.

Buzz  Excited interest or attention surrounding, for example, a new invention,  a recent event or something that has become fashionable.

Carjacking-  Blend of 'car' and 'hijacking',  When a car driver is forced to give up his vehicle or drive to a

destination designated by the attacker.

Cot potato Very young child who spends a lot of time watching television.  (cot = a baby's bed)

Daycation A trip or short vacation which lasts only one day - daycationers do not stay away overnight.
Decruitment Euphemism for laying-off staff or downsizing a company.

Fashionista  Person who dresses according to the latest fashion trends.
Flash mob  A crowd that gathers in a pre-determined place, performs an action then disperses very quickly. The mob is not told exactly what to do until just before the event.
 Flexitarian A vegetarian who sometimes eats meat or fish
 Freemale  A woman who is happy to stay single and independent so that she can do what she wants when she wants.
 Funemployed A blend of 'fun' and 'unemployed'.Someone who enjoys not having a job because they have more time for leisure and fun activities.

 Greycation Going on holiday or vacation with grandparents in order to reduce the cost.

 Hoody or hoodie  A person, especially a youth, wearing a hooded top.

 Infomania Constantly checking and responding to email and text messages.

Jumbrella Blend of 'jumbo' and 'umbrella'. Very large umbrella set above tables outdoors at a coffee shop,
 pub or restaurant.

 Nail tat A temporary tattoo applied to the nails.
 Netbook Small laptop computer which weighs less than 3 pounds and has a 7 to 10 inch screen.
 Netizen  Blend of 'internet' and 'citizen'. A person who spends an excessive amount of time on the internet

Overworking class A segment of today's working population where there is a desire or need to work long hours.
Outernet Traditional media (newpapers, magazines, radio, television) as opposed to the internet.

Sandwich generation A generation of people who care for the needs of their children as well as those of their own elderly parents.
Snail mail The standard system of delivering mail which is very slow in contrast  to electronic mail.
Sofalise/sofalize  Stay home and use the internet, phone or other electronic device to communicate with people (social networking, chatting, tweeting, etc.),  rather than go out and meet them face to face.  Staycation A vacation in which you stay at home and relax or visit places close to where you live.

Winterval  Blend of 'winter' and 'festival'.  A festival that takes place in winter.